forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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