watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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