This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
