2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize