i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
