It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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