Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize