He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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