I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
