my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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