God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My life is pants optional.
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