sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
