then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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