Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
wanna go halves on a baby?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize