I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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