Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.