Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone