Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
