i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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