fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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