that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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