she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
