goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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