I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.