I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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