did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
