I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
