It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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