Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
