My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
