i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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