Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
