How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
