So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
