are you still at the devil's house?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
