i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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