im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize