The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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