im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
