i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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