I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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