there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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