im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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