using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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