haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
