I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
