We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
