I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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