That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
