he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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