My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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