I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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