Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
