Got a toothbrush?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
