Will you blow on my dice?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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