just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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