Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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