we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize